Some Days Are Hard

I had big plans for this week. I was really going to crush it. I was going to make and photograph two recipes a day. I was going to get all my errands done. I was going to babysit my nephew. I was doing pretty well too. Then my daughter got sick. Nothing kills my appetite and desire to work in the kitchen worse than someone in the house throwing up. All bets were off. Sleep was lost and the basic meals were a struggle to make and eat. Have I mentioned I have a vomit phobia? I do, and that’s enough about that.

If there were ever any reason to make me think I don’t like having kids it would be when they’re sick. It’s so hard to see your little baby crying and uncomfortable, knowing that there’s little you can do for them. Its hard to think that you, too might get sick, and not be able to take care of them. Its hard to be patient with the extra whining and demands on your love and time. Its really hard to watch their favorite children’s movie five times, no matter how great it is.

When I finally had both my kids down for a nap I got a few moments to myself. And I do mean few. My son awoke from his nap prematurely. As I bounced and rocked him beyond what I thought I could physically endure, I thought, I need to figure out how to do this. How to take care of sick kids and not let it get to me. How to be joyful in the hardest days. There will come a day when my children are grown and gone. They might be sick then, and will turn to their spouse or friends to care for them instead of turning to me. Whether they are sick or well, I will long to hold and love them in the way that was so greatly demanded of me today. I should enjoy and appreciate the privilege of God trusting me to care for these children even if it is exhausting. I want my children to learn about God’s unconditional love for them through my unconditional love for them.

Tonight I’m one day closer to playing games and having fun and eating cookies. And that’s close enough.